Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
