I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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