why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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