You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
