New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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