where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My pussy is not your playground.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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