god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I supernannyed him into submission
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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