i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
