all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
