Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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