she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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