rhymes with "ouble enetration"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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