We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize