As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
