I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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