at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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