you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
nutella sex= disaster
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Randomize
