Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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