I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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