What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
His nipple licking is glorious
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