Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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