That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
