I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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