i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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