allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
