i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
