Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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