I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think people are normalizing furries
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
