my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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