Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
