I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
