dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize