Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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