i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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