the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's shark week go big or go home
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
