Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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