I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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