I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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