I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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