So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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