Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
