I can text with my tongue
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just pee around me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
false alarm, still single
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
