Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
