The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
