just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
