I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I will be naked everywhere
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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