positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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