hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
