i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
