I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
