so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
