I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
