pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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