Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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