i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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