I wish my penis had an off switch
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
