my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize