I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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