What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
