your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
