small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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