If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
