No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
