I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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