On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she smelled like a LAN party
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
