similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
